Top 10 Tips Dealing with Difficult Parents
“Admit that we, too, are learners. We are open to changing and growing. We are not the experts in this journey called Life. ”
Make Your School Awesome Staff
June 1, 2022
We have all been there! We have experienced the helicopter parent, the parent who arrives at the main office daily, or the not my child parent. How about the“Burger King” have it their way parent, or everyone’s favorite, the parent who drops off late, sleeps in, and creates attendance issues.
Sound familiar? Dealing with difficult parents can be very challenging.
Here are our top ten tips to keep you grounded, sane, and focused when creating resolutions during these stressful times.
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Seek to understand. Most parents are intrinsically protective, and extra emotions run high when conflicts arise with their children. Keep in mind that they do not always necessarily want a solution, but they just need to know they are being heard and recognized. Just as their children crave validation – seek to understand their position, hear them out, and validate their concerns.
Remain like Thomas Jefferson. He always remained steadfast and unwavering when faced with difficulties. With emotions at a high point, be like Thomas Jefferson and do not mirror their level of intensity. Stay calm and collected when addressing highly charged conversations.
Don’t make promises you cannot keep. Frustrated parents want help and answers. Sometimes you may have some; others, you will not. Only set solutions you know are achievable and do not set the parents up to get further frustrated. Also: redirect them to facts and rules, and remind them that policy comes first and decisions are not personal.
Call in all resources! You may need a technical specialist, a speech pathologist, an occupational therapist, a psychiatrist, or other professional members of the educational community. They may provide much-needed support when finding resolutions.
RESPECT –
Reassure - that you are involved in a solution
Empathize - without owning the problem
Suggest - do not preach
Prepare - documentation
Educate - on policy and laws
Collect - information and all the facts
Trust - your instincts
Meet them halfway! Don’t give away the barn for free, but maybe toss them dozens of eggs. Any gestures of help or kindness will go way further than no response at all. Perhaps it is as simple as letting the children arrive at school earlier or stay later if a struggling parent needs help with pick up. Parents want to know they have support from you and you are their child's ally.
Create boundaries from day one! Know when to initiate the conversation and when to end it. Some parents will try to pull you in and drag you into their situation as if it is your problem. While you always want to maintain empathy and offer help, a line needs to be drawn when it comes to your role.
Do not speak for them. Unless personally instructed to, do not assume you know what parents would say or feel when recruiting resources for help. Get the parents as involved as possible and always gain consent.
Know your scope! Doctors and other healthcare practitioners will not diagnose or prescribe outside of their specialty, and neither should you. Stay in your lane and only offer suggestions and resources, not absolutes.
Look up and forge ahead! When you look for the good, you will find it. Focus on the positive qualities of the student and the parents and build from those forward-focused principles.
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Important teacher takeaways!
Show empathy! Make sure you listen to understand not just quickly respond. Always work in the good faith with the message being, “children-first”. Remember that we all want the best for our kids and develop that teamwork mentality.
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