Contacting Parents in a Positive Manner Matters
“Say something positive, and you’ll see something positive.”
Make Your School Awesome Staff
November 29, 2022
Contacting Parents in a Positive Manner Matters
When making routine phone calls home to parents, keep in mind to always talk with a “smile” in your voice! This is perfect advice for educators, professionals, customer service representatives, or others looking to build healthy and positive relationships with others.
As educators and building administrators, we often take each situation in stride and assess each challenge. Making phone calls and emails personal to parents is important. Memorializing behaviors and sharing with parents the discipline applied is important during this process, but parents need to understand that we are vested in their child's success. As teachers and administrators, we know that these are never easy phone conversations.
So how should educators handle these situations?
Challenges and disruptions happen daily, especially in the school setting, but how can you prepare and respectfully present information to parents without adding to their emotions? Consider reflecting on your instinctual reaction before conveying your message to the parent. Focus on being caring, diplomatic, and helpful. Collaboratively solve problems by proactively identifying expectations and behaviors that you see daily in their child. This can be upsetting to parents and counterproductive when trying to build a cohesive team to support the child.
So, how do you positively send a message to a parent even though the child is not doing exactly what you want, and how can you even highlight successes?
Let’s explore these seven steps to communicate with parents effectively:
1. It’s a Relationship –
Be a master of tone - your empathy and kindness to the child and parent(s)/guardian(s) should show through.
Know the time of day and what the parent’s typical work hours are; make a mini-profile of
them in bullet points to be prepared (Are they currently working, Do they have other children or a demanding occupation?Have an understanding of their past reactions to best prepare.
2. Communicate on the medium that is easiest for them. (But seek to steer them when available in-person or on the phone). Writing emails may be interpreted incorrectly and misrepresent your tone and intention.
3. Be Direct with a Resolution Already in Mind. We have experienced this (insert problem). Let’s figure this out and solve it together. Provide a solution to the issue or behavior at hand. Also, share with parents the methods and modifications you have already made to assist the student. Show your caring and optimistic side while sharing with them your passion for finding a solution.
4. Be Less Authoritative and More Curious. Close the expectations gap - Some children may be compatible with the expectations that have been set because they align with their values. Be a detective and learn the family's core values and how you can leverage that knowledge to come to a productive solution or action plan.
5. Validate Guardians and Parents. Be flexible and optimistic– You may have school policies and rules that are black and white. Human behaviors and emotions are not; be realistic so that both parties can mutually understand a potential resolution and the variables. If a parent becomes confrontational, take the high road - no matter what someone says to you or writes to you. Remember, they are vested parents, and difficult situations can make them upset and vulnerable. We are professionals who keep a cool and level demeanor at all times. Do not match their level of frustration- your patience and understanding will help you through the rest of the year and for future siblings.
6. Be the Cadence of Communication. Typically, we reach out when there is a fire, and we need to put it out, or there is a difficult situation or behavior that needs correcting. Be consistent with communication with parents and touch base with parents as you recognize positive strides in their child. They want to know that you care about their child’s education and well-being. Celebrate success no matter how large or small.
7. Reread your emails. Double check you have not inserted any unwanted tone. Tone can hide when you least expect it. Make sure you re-read it with fresh eyes and a clear mind before hitting send.
Important teacher takeaways!
Be kind, professional, and empathetic!
Go back to thinking about the friendly letters we wrote in 3rd grade; include Dear ______(parents’ name), including the child's name in the body, and sign off with a salutation and your name. Always reference the student by name. Make it warm and personable. Always keep a file of parental communication readily available for your administrator just in case they need to join the collaboration.
TEACH, SHARE, INSPIRE
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